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It's only recently that I've started to feel attached to anything or anyone. My immediate thought as a child was, "I knew there was something odd about me". She sighs. 'In her book, Cameron reflects on his death from lung cancer at the age of 55 in a way she had never done before. 'I don't want her to feel regret or guilt. ''I was living through the hell that I felt I'd always lived through - I don't get on easily with other people and I certainly don't get on with other control freaks, or bullies or thick people. Cameron worshipped her father. 'I'm a real hypochondriac, very conscious about health for someone who abused themselves with drink for a very long time. I'd remortgaged for £30,000 before I went. It's incomprehensible. But she's had to change a lot through circumstances - Dad dying, her heart attacks, me being a lesbian, the ups and downs I've had. And I did feel abused.' I'd remortgaged for £30,000 before I went. And that didn't stop.
'Was it abuse? It's because I think you are so f***ing sexy."She later added: "I've never known someone who looks so fragile but is such a b****."The Footballers' Wives star leaped on Scott's back and began biting and scratching at him, leading her to brand her as "a wild animal"."I'm done with you talking about it ... I've had enough of his ass, I'm done with him saying every time I say something, 'no you are wrong, I'm right you are wrong'. Cameron can laugh about it now. 'We were all either desperate or broke. 'I would buy a really big place and have a room just to paint in. And one of them was this book. 'I want to live for a very long time.' She's a modern woman now, all in favour of expressing and talking, so we've found a place to be very close. I never shared my pain and loneliness with her at the time because I didn't think I could. So why was I letting people do this stuff to me?

'I won't lie, it was nice sitting in Tara's car, with blacked-out windows and cameras going off, but after a while you're just worrying about whether you've held your stomach in.
Before I was just sort of drifting. 'I'm very mainstream,' she says. The last time she had a boyfriend was when she was 17. 'When Cameron emerged, her profile was heightened to the point where she hosted an ITV gameshow, Russian Roulette. 'I gave up drinking to write the book. 'We're doing the interview at my home and she turns up with a bottle of champagne she won't drink herself. 'Cameron chose 1979 to write about because it was the year her father died and her world crashed in. 'I didn't have boyfriends.